Ever had a disagreement that ended up in a full blown argument? Ever had a difference of opinion that became an all out war on who is right? Now you maybe 100% right about something and your colleague maybe 100% wrong. But trying to bash them over the head with your view and logic won’t matter. As soon as someone becomes defensive, their ego gets involved and the ego does not like to be proven wrong. This is a direct attack at one’s intelligence and the ego wont have a bar of it. The ego will take this as damaging to the self-esteem and self-worth. No matter how much logic and facts you can throw at your colleague now they will still not back down. It is always good to head off an argument before it gets going. So, manage disagreements and your differences of opinion before they become arguments. You can learn more about the ego in this article The All Mighty Powerful Ego
There are a number of ways to work through a disagreement:
Welcome the disagreement
Always be thankful that somebody else has a different opinion than yours. Maybe the disagreement is a way for you to correct yourself before a bigger mistake happens. It really does take a person with high self-esteem to admit that a mistake has been made. It is also a humbling experience.
Distrust your first reaction
All thought has an emotion attached to it and these thoughts must always pass through the emotional brain before arriving in the logical brain. Often times a disagreeable situation brings about a defensive reaction. Remain calm and allow the logical brain time to catch up. Control your temper. The emotional brain may take control and you may become angry. Counting to 10 first can buy you some calming time. You can learn more about calming techniques in this article Anger Management Reading about Stress Management may also help.
Listen to the other person
Listen to your opponent until they are finished. Then ask questions to make sure you have totally understood the concern. You can find some great active listening skills in the article Better Communication
Areas of agreement
Look for areas that you can both agree on. Find common ground to work with.
Be honest with yourself
Apologies for a mistake you may have made and admit to any errors in judgement you have had.
Think through your opponent’s point of view
Your opponent maybe right, dead right, so allow time to view all the facts, weighing up the new information that has been giving to you. Postpone action until both parties have had sufficient time to logically think through all the options.
Thank your opponent sincerely
Think of a person that disagrees with you as a friend. Someone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in what you are interested in.
Schedule another meeting
Postpone action for now. Reconvene in the near future after both parties have had sufficient time to think.
Remember that forcing someone to comply or follow orders or legislation against their will may give you a short-term victory, but you do not have their goodwill. They may resent it, and they may return back to doing want you wanted to correct anyway. It is always better and longer lasting to find out the reasons behind the actions or behaviours and work towards agreement and cooperation.
“A person convinced against their will, is of the same opinion”
Sometimes things have gone too far in a personal relationship and it is time to end it. If so then read Separation & Divorce
Are you being submissive with your disagreements by an over powering partner then you may want to read What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
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