What is Responsibility?
The Oxford Dictionary’s definition of responsibility: The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.
Now ask yourself a couple of questions:
- Are you blaming others for your current situation?
- Do you believe that somebody else is responsible for your dilemma?
Many people navigate life blaming external circumstances rather than taking personal responsibility. They convince themselves that their current position is not their fault. In reality, who you are and everything you have experienced is a direct result of your choices. While it may feel like you lack control, every outcome in your world has been shaped by your decisions—whether made consciously or subconsciously.
I am responsible
“I, Adrian Spear, acknowledge that where I stand today is the direct result of my past thoughts, actions, and reactions. My successes and failures alike are reflections of my own choices; I hold no one else accountable for my ups and downs. While others may have influenced me for better or worse, I alone remain the authority over my decisions, my responses, and my life.”
No more excuses
“This may be difficult to accept. You might argue, ‘I didn’t choose to be sick,’ or ‘I didn’t choose that car accident.’ While luck and fate certainly play their parts, the reality is that 99% of who, what, and where we are is our own doing. Consider the car accident: unless you were a child with no say in the matter, you chose to get into that vehicle. You knew the destination, you chose the departure time, and you selected the route. Ultimately, your choices placed you at that exact coordinate at the exact moment the incident occurred.
The same often applies to health. While some conditions are hereditary or present at birth, many are the direct manifestation of lifestyle choices. You are the sum of every thought and decision you have ever made. It is easy to point fingers at parents, bosses, or partners, but they didn’t ‘do’ your life to you. You either allowed it to happen or chose your specific reaction to it.
What matters now is your response to the present. Do you retreat into self-pity, believing your burdens are unique, or do you take ownership? Your life belongs to you. Own it, take control, and stop blaming the world for the person you have become.
Responsibility and Bob growing up
There is a person in my life living in quiet desperation, having suffered mentally for as long as I can remember. Let’s call him Bob.
Bob’s world fractured at age seven when his parents divorced. His father was a harsh, uncompromising man, while his mother—scarred by years of an unhappy marriage—was emotionally distant. Even when the family was ‘whole,’ the home was a vacuum where love should have been.
As the years passed, Bob’s mother had several partners, creating a volatile and toxic atmosphere. His older siblings had already left the nest, leaving Bob to navigate the chaos alone. Desperate to escape, he would frequently run away to his father’s home. However, he only found a different kind of darkness there: a father who worked long hours, drank heavily, and struggled with his own deep depression. No matter where Bob turned, the environment was detrimental to his soul.
Bob reaches adulthood
Bob modeled himself entirely on his father—his beard, his jokes, his very essence—while harboring a deep-seated hatred for his mother. He chased relationships to fill a maternal void, but they always ended in resentment. His emotional outbursts led to a cycle of legal trouble and self-destruction.
Now, decades later, Bob is still foundering. He is financially dependent on his elderly father, unable to hold a job, and treats those around him poorly.
Bob’s tragedy isn’t what happened to him as a child; it’s his refusal to see that he has the power to change. He is consumed by a bitterness that targets his entire family. For Bob to survive, he must take ownership of his ‘now.’ He needs to realize that asking for help isn’t a weakness, but a necessity.
Even with my years of study, the insights gained through The Power of Meditation, and the wisdom of the masters, I am at a standstill. I cannot help a man who will not take responsibility for himself. It is a heavy realization that brings me great sadness.
Other examples of taking responsibility
If you are in a relationship where you are treated poorly or feel unappreciated, it is time to take responsibility. Start by setting firm boundaries with your partner. However, if the relationship has reached its end, you must find the courage to move on, regardless of the difficulty. For further guidance, you may want to read: Healthy Relationships, Separation & Divorce.
Similarly, if you are in a career that drains you, the responsibility for change lies with you. Many people remain in jobs they hate, citing endless reasons to stay while blaming colleagues for their unhappiness. It is a proven fact that when you love what you do, productivity skyrockets; hours feel like minutes because the effort doesn’t feel like ‘work.’ If your current role offers no fulfillment, it is time to vacate the position. You may find value in reading: Right or Wrong Decisions.
Finally, if you are unhappy with your physical health, you must own that reality. Taking responsibility might mean shifting your mindset, communicating your needs, or committing to a new exercise and nutrition plan. I have never ‘accidentally’ eaten anything, and I suspect you haven’t either. Every meal is a decision. If you choose to overeat, you are choosing the weight that follows. Own your choices, and you own your life.
Feel free to read: Becoming Offended , The All Mighty Powerful Ego and Testimonial
To truly live a life of happiness and an abundance of both health and wealth, you must take 100% responsibility for your past. Make the decision today: extend your hand and seek the help and guidance you require to move forward.
Take action now
Give me a call for a free 15 minute chat to see if my service is right for you 0405 391 110 or fill out the Contact Form and if you want to know what you can expect from my service then read Mind Management & Counselling Services
Nobody is an island. We all need help.
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