Better Communication - Adrian Spear

Having trouble with your communications with others? Most relationship problems at home and at work come from not talking things over. If you are feeling uptight about a situation with another then say something. Maybe you could foster some collaborative communication skills. You could be well on your way to greatly improved relationships at home and at work just by tweaking a couple of skills you already know.

Folks want to feel understood. Some wise person once said that “The number one thing people want in life is to feel understood.” I can honestly say that when a client comes to me about a concern, whether it be anger or stress or partner oriented then 50% of the time they have an overwhelming feeling of not being understood.

How to bring about better communication

Remain calm and explain how you are FEELING about the person or situation.
Ask for their feedback in how to fix the concern.
Then most importantly LISTEN to what the other is saying.
Learn about the art of active listening.

So many relationships are destroyed and so much anxiousness is built from within because people don’t talk stuff over. You feel so much lighter when concerning topics are resolved. Don’t you?

Active listening for better communication

The experts believe that 93% of communication is non-verbal. 53% is body language and 40% is the tone of the voice. Only 7% is actually what you say. What is active listening? It is the act of fully hearing and comprehending the meaning what someone is saying. How do you actively listen?

Avoid judging the person in front of you
Open by saying: “I really want to understand you, so please tell me what is going on.“
Avoid getting distracted by your own thoughts
Focus on the speaker and the topic instead
Do not interrupt the other person
Let them finish and the respond
Use phrases that show the other person that you are interested and to keep the other person talking – “That sounds awesome.” “Tell me more.”
Show that you are interested with body language. Lean forward. Nod your head.
If appropriate, take notes to remember important points
Paraphrase what the speaker has said. “What you said was…..”